Friday, September 15, 2006

Noah's Ark, You Pick 'em

As you all have figured out, rain has been the topic of choice for bloggers in Northwest Indiana. Here's another deluge influenced blog that invites your participation.

God told Noah to make an ark, and to bring with him his wife, and his sons, Shem, am, and Japheth and their wives. Additionally, he was to bring pairs of all living creatures, male and female, and in order to provide sustenance, he was told to bring and store food. –Genesis 6

During the week of endless rain I heard someone say something about building an Ark. I decided that if there was even a remote possibility that someone like a Noah character was going to build an Ark then I was going to make a few requests.

Leave the mosquitoes, roaches, and squirrels off. Leave the mosquitoes because the pesky females bite and the bites itch for days. The roaches should be left off because they are nasty and overly prolific and everyone moves when they show up. As for the squirrels, they just bug me. I mean they are everywhere and you can’t keep them off a bird feeder to save your soul. Besides in suburbia they have no natural predators.

As I continue to think about this Ark thing, other critters come to mind such as chiggers. I have never seen a chigger, yet I am very familiar with them. Growing up in Arkansas I spent much of my childhood as a red polka dotted boy. When I was in college we had this keg party called the Chigger Festival. The theory was that all the alcohol consumed at this one party would deter the chiggers all summer. It never worked, but I always went.

Sea Gulls also come to mind. The “shit hawk” as they are sometimes referred to will grab your sandwich right out of your hand on the beach at Lake Michigan. They also have gatherings on the parking lots of “big box” stores. Sometimes you find some “goof ball” feeding them bread –like these birds need help finding food! I have a tendency to drive my truck fast through a gathering of sea gulls just to watch them fly off. This embarrasses my wife and I usually end up in a little trouble. But, really critters like the “shit hawk” deserve a little slack. After all they keep the White Castle parking clean, free of charge. So maybe they should have a ticket on the Ark.

Just for fun, what critters would leave off the metaphorical Ark?


Blogger Sarah Viola said...

Those creepy centipede things that live in basements. Geh.

8:57 PM  
Blogger gawilli said...

I would leave off those black crickets. I like to hear them, but that's about it. I also don't care much for horseflies. Ouch.

Every critter does have it's place in the chain though, right?

9:20 PM  
Blogger Molly said...

Ticks, let's leave the ticks off the Ark. But, they would probably hitch a ride on the dogs. Speaking of dogs, I would not want pit bulls or Rottweilers on the Ark. Hmm, drowning all of the lice in the world would not be so bad.

10:00 PM  
Blogger katy said...

would have to leave off rats ooh gone all funny just thinking about them!

7:44 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

Wasps ... I hate those things. They are so aggressive. They like to dive bomb me while I'm just minding my own business.

7:10 PM  
Blogger willi said...

Should have known Her Outdoors would not want the rats on the ark. That where I got the idea that "everyone moves" for the roaches.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Biddie said...

i'm with sarahviola. We have those creepy cenipedes in our basement. They pop up in the worst places...

8:17 PM  
Blogger daddy d said...

I vote to leave off the mosquitoes. They just take blood and leave behind some stuff that makes me hurt after a while.

If they could just take a little blood and not leave anthing behind,it would be ok, sort of. But no, out goes the good and in goes the bad. LEAVE THEM OFF.

7:52 PM  

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